Now I’ll Give You Nothing

I feel so heartbroken in your absence
Feel like all of this is just a trance
Miss your laughter and exuberance
Crushed because there’ll never be another chance

Tomorrow serves to remind you of those who care
When they reach out with something nice to say
As much as I want to, I wouldn’t dare
I won’t be wishing you happy birthday

Take every ounce of my laughter from the wind
Search for peace within your note
Wishing somehow I could magically rescind
“Now I’ll give you nothing.” The last thing you wrote.

Even if I can’t speak to your face
Even if I asked you not to reach out
Even if I ask for eternal space
Life is worse when you I’m without

It’s embarrassing to think I stood a chance
As much as you may have started to drool
To think I was worth a second glance
In the end it’s me who looks like a fool

Ravished and broken against the wind
Ashamed if I bragged or started to gloat
Suffering now for all we have sinned
“Now I’ll give you nothing,” the last thing she wrote.

Want to give you everything until the end
Thought that was the direction we were going to take
Then I awoke scared from what I would send
Unsure now what was truly the mistake

Was it leaving that night and walking away?
Was it all of the absence of courage to stay?
Was it terror and blackness from where I lay?
Like feeling all alone on your birthday

These feelings aren’t fading into the wind
I’ll think of you always while on the boat.
Sailing the world searching for what we twinned
“Now I’ll give you nothing.” That’s all she wrote.